


i don't wanna keep secrets (just to keep you)

by prettysky



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, F/F, Lying and Guilt, it's coworkers/friends to lovers with a tiny splash of enemies, soulmatism. endgameocity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29926212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettysky/pseuds/prettysky
Summary: The story of what would have happened if Alex Danvers would walk into the police station in 1x14 and meet Detective Maggie Sawyer
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	i don't wanna keep secrets (just to keep you)

From a young age, she had to learn how to lie.

First, when she learned she liked girls. It was when everyone was starting to like others, and while most of the girls liked the boys and most of the boys liked the girls, she wondered what on earth would make her want to agree to go out with Bobby Solomon. She refused, eventually. There was no amount of pizza and milkshakes that would make her want to go out with a boy. When asked what boy she liked, she had to make up. There was a fear in it, of being different, strange, but when she grew up, she learned to know herself better, to understand that there was no shame in being who she was.

She had to lie when her new sister landed on Earth. People had questions - who is the weirdo who covers her ears all the time, blinks too much and somehow manages to bend her locker door? And why did the Danvers family decide to adopt her anyway? Lies in the forms of answers were told on a daily basis. She had to lie when she said she loved her sister, that she didn’t care that Kara took everything from her. She had to lie to the world about Kara’s identity, keep it a secret, to keep her safe.

Eventually the lies that had haunted her in the past faded; being out of the closet never made her feel more liberated and after years of close friendships, there was no person she loved more than her sister, but then she had to get used to new lies. The job at the DEO, hiding her work from her mother and sister, all of those lies were necessary. She learned to lie professionally, without batting an eyelid, and hated herself every moment. She knew that no lie was selfish or vicious, she had to do it to protect herself and her loved ones. Lies had become part of her life routine.

And yet, she hated every moment of doing it.

When Kara came out as a supergirl, she was scared for the first time, but honestly, she couldn’t be more proud of her sister as she was using her powers to the fullest, actualizing the destiny her parents intended for her. She didn’t have to lie to her anymore. They worked hand in hand, defending others and fighting together. It was like a dream come true, and the number of lies started to diminish.

Until Astra.

This lie, the most oppressive she had ever carried, weighed like a sack of gravel in her lungs. It wasn’t just the weight of the lie itself, the horrific act she had to do, it was the fact that it left her sister more heartbroken than ever. She felt the pain all over her body, grabbing her guts and not letting go. Alex knew she could try to distract herself or ignore it, but it would come back as soon as she let her guard down. It was the kind of pain that gripped both her heart and lungs, a pain not caused by a physical problem.

She had to learn to detach herself from the blame for her lies. She never lied without reason, she was keeping people safe by lying to them. There was no reason to feel bad, even though keeping a secret always felt like a certain boundary she had to mark within herself, something fake and dishonest. But now, the situation was completely different. She was hiding something from her sister, and she knew the truth would make Kara hate her. Something in Alex's stomach went rigid.

She felt Kara's breath behind her and knew she was folding her arms, staring at J’onn over her head.

"When I need time off, I'll fill out a request form at HR. Until then, if there's a dangerous alien to catch, I'd like to be included. Sir."

Alex wanted to bury her face in her hands with frustration. Kara's voice was foreign, cold as ice, and Alex could almost feel the temperature dropping in the air between them. She and J’onn sat at a small table in front of several screens, discussing their hostile alien, and Kara stood a little behind her. She had been behaving with hostility towards him, ever since he told her he was the one who murdered Astra.

He. Not Alex.

Alex took a deep breath, trying to calm down. The alternative was to scream and hit the table in front of her, to confess to Kara and beg her not to be angry at J’onn anymore. Not at J’onn. She couldn’t stand this lie that pierced her throat, this murky atmosphere that prevailed every time the three of them were together since Astra, how these people she loved calling a family being so aloof to each other.

She knew she deserved it. There was nothing she hated more than seeing her little sister's blue eyes turn pitch black, burning with restrained anger. She knew that this stomach ache, the stab, she deserved it all for lying to her now. She held her back straight, breathing slowly, trying to concentrate on the important matters before them.

"Is he human?"

"Couldn’t tell under all that armor," She heard herself say.

They went on to discuss the mysterious identity of their unknown creature, measuring options, Alex trying her best to ignore the coldness that still gripped Kara's voice, the restrained seriousness that J’onn had shown towards her.

"We could interview NCPD, see if they know something."

"Where do you think he took that guy?"

"As far as we know, he can be anywhere in the galaxy," Alex said. J’onn got up.

"Agent Danvers, get ready to leave in fifteen minutes." He nodded to her and left. Kara stayed by her side, leaning against the table. Her gaze softened almost immediately after J’onn left, the familiar smile on her lips again. Surprisingly, this gesture caused Alex to another stab, knowing that she didn’t deserve even one smile from her little sister.

"How’s CatCo?" The question left Alex's mouth for the sake of politeness alone. Kara sighed.

"Annoying. Cat brought a new assistant with an unpronounceable name who walks around all day like she owns the place, and Cat might like her even more than me. I mean, it's a much more serious matter than just being her favorite assistant, you know, she might be better than me and cause my layoff. Then I’ll have to work for the DEO for the rest of my life." She looked more miserable than anything else.

"Don't worry," Alex tried to smile. "There's no way Cat will let an amazing assistant like you go just because of some stranger. There are some things only you can do." She saw the small smile on Kara's lips widen, and her heart calmed down a little. At least she manages to make her feel better.

"Listen, I need to get ready, so we'll talk later, okay?"

Kara nodded, patting her back. Alex has left to the locker room, hoping this hostile alien case will distract her from any other hostility that is currently in her life right now.

*

"Hank Henshaw, FBI," The clerk at the police station lifted his head at J’onn and Alex. "We’re looking for the Science Division?"

He instructed them the way, and they came to a small office at the end of a corridor, with a small plaque on the door- NCPD, Science Division. The door was closed and the curtains on the transparent windows were covered, a faint light lit through.

"Do you think it’ll be a short nerd with glasses or an eccentric old man?" Alex whispered. J’onn sighed.

"What I hope will be there is an answer." He said, knocking on the door.

"Come in!" came a female voice. J’onn opened the door, and they stepped inside.

A woman dressed in a black blazer and tailored pants sat at the table, pages spread out in front of her. She pulled her hair over her eyes as she looked at them with raised eyebrows, a little surprised.

"Can I help you?"

"Agents Danvers and Henshaw, FBI," Alex said, both raising their badges. The woman glanced briefly at J’onn and then at Alex, and a small smile appeared on her face. Alex noticed how one eyebrow was sticking out, along with the raised tips of her lips. She examined Alex at length, and finally turned to look at her badge.

The polite smile on Alex's face froze. She immediately put on a serious face, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"There is a problem?" She asked stiffly. The woman got up, reaching out a hand.

"No, not at all. Are you Danvers?"

Alex took her outstretched hand, shaking it. Her grip was strong and good, like a rushing stream of water.

"Yes."

The woman continued to smile, leaning forward slightly in a movement that surprised Alex. She raised an eyebrow, looking into the woman's eyes.

"Your badge is upside down."

Alex turned the badge to look at it. Fortunately, it showed FBI. Unfortunately, it really was upside down. The cop walked away from her, still smiling, shaking hands with J’onn while Alex tries to hide the blush on her cheeks. The last thing she needed right now was to make a fool of herself in front of a policewoman.

"Well. Feds, in my office. I'm Detective Sawyer. How can I help?"

"We're looking into a recent kidnapping in National City. We're wondering if you can..." J’onn's voice faded in Alex's ears, and she tried to calm down from the embarrassing incident with the detective. She didn’t like to embarrass herself in front of others, especially ones she had just met, who looked intelligent, professional. People who wouldn’t make such mistakes, like her. She hoped the detective would forget about it and took a deep breath, returning her attention to J’onn.

"...this is our primary suspect," J’’onn concluded, handing her a tablet screen with the armored figure’s photo. Sawyer chuckled.

"Halloween already?"

J’onn shrugged, still wearing his formal smile. She looked between the two of them, once again lingering on Alex longer, as if estimating her. Alex tried not to let her expression betray her.

"So the FBI is crawling for help. It must be embarrassing for you."

"As long as the job gets done, it doesn't matter who helps," Alex said in a slick voice, a fake smile on her face. "I mean, look at you guys. Crime’s got way down in National City in the last few months a lot thanks to Supergirl. But you don’t mind that she helps, do you?"

Something twisted in Sawyer's face, and she looked again at J’onn and the screen he was holding. "We don’t know who the guy is," she finally said. She got up and reached to one of the drawers behind her. "He's been kicking around for several months. At least five kidnappings we know of."

She took out a briefcase, pulling out pictures. "He's not just kidnapping them. We found the bodies in the river, all decapitated." 

Alex looked at the pictures of the victims, her head again focused on the interrogation. If it hadn’t been a serious matter until now, it had just become one. Kidnapping is one thing, but kidnapping and murder is something else entirely.

"How could we not have heard about this?" Alex flipped through the pictures.

"The mayor wants this kept quiet." Sawyer was concentrated on the files, and Alex thought she looked more gentle, as she bit the inside of her cheek inadvertently. Sawyer pulled out more evidence and Alex looked back at the picture in her hand, trying not to get caught staring at her.

"The victims, everyone, they were... weird." Sawyer held a bundle of pages in her hands, placing them on the table next to the other pictures.

"Weird how?"

Sawyer pointed to the new set of pictures, all from the morgue. "Gills. Little horns. One had tentacles all over his back."

Alex and J’onn exchanged glances. It was good, but not enough.

"Thank you, Detective," Alex said, placing the pictures back on the table. She and J’onn walked away toward the exit while the detective nodded, collecting the photos back into the folder.

"There's an alien serial killer in National City," J’onn murmured as they walked down the hall. Alex walked quickly, determined to resolve this case.

"We'd better find out who's next."

"Hey!"

Alex turned to Sawyer, who quickly approached them from behind. Her smile was a little tense.

"Look, I'd be happy to... I mean, if you're working on this case, I'm happy to help. We're trying to solve it ourselves."

Alex folded her arms, the way she looked at Sawyer from up giving her a little strength. Maybe the incident with the badge wasn't so terrible after all, if Sawyer doesn't mind working with her. To screw up in front of a professional detective has never been part of her plan. On the other hand, the police won’t be able to benefit them too much.

"Listen, this is a homicide case. We'd better find out with the FBI resources. The police, in my experience, are no better than us. Our technology-”

"Yes, I know," Sawyer nodded, her eyes determined. "It's just that I've been working on this case for a while. I'd be happy to lend a hand with the information I have."

"You can send the information to the office-" J’onn began to say, but Sawyer interrupted him.

"I mean actually working on the case. Together."

Alex and J’onn exchanged glances, and Alex raised an eyebrow, thinking. She didn't like the NCPD. They would burst into crime scenes with their heavy equipment and make a mess. But if they just use Sawyer's help, the connections she has, her ways of thinking, that idea sounds... not bad. It's always worth adding more hands to the table, especially if those hands are like Sawyer's, who gave the impression of being dedicated, good at her job. Alex tilted her head slightly toward J’onn, and he sighed.

"Give us your details. We'll get back to you."

A wolfy grin lit up Sawyer's face, and she hurriedly pulled out a business card, handing it to Alex. Alex shoved it into her breast pocket.

"Call me."

Sawyer's face showed confidence when she looked at Alex directly. Alex nodded weakly, out of instinct, and managed to nod back when Sawyer turned to leave.

"Thank you, Agent Danvers."

Alex almost called her to turn, just so she could take another look at her eyes.

Instead, she turned back without saying a word, following J’onn.

In the car on the way back to the facility, she took out the card.

_ Detective Maggie Sawyer _ , was listed there.  _ NCPD, Science Division. _ A few more details like a phone number and email address, but Alex kept looking at the name, written in large black letters. Maggie. She thought about the way she talked about the disappearing aliens, worried but professional, about how she pulled her hair away from her face as she straightened up to look at them. About the smile she gave her when she agreed to work with them.

Alex put the card back in her pocket, staring at the view of the car changing from urban to desert in a matter of minutes, and the sound of the neon green sword ripping in her head again, like a broken record from which there was no escape.

*

Despite what she had hoped for, Alex couldn’t get Detective Sawyer into the DEO's secret facility.

"I don’t even understand why you need her to solve this." J’onn was engrossed in various papers in his office, barely raising his head at her. "She's a cop."

_ A pretty great cop, if she's been successful in her investigation so far, _ Alex wanted to say, but restrained.

"If we pool resources, sir, that could be a significant breakthrough. On top of that, there's the important time issue. He keeps killing more, and we need to catch him soon."

J’onn sighed, finally looking up, "Okay," he finally said. "Take one of the rooms on the entrance floor, upstairs. Don’t let her in here. You will have the necessary equipment there."

"Thank you, sir."

She turned to leave, meeting Kara down the hall. She looked a little stressed.

"Is everything okay?"

"Are you done talking to him?" Kara hadn’t said J’onn's name in over a week. Alex refrained from biting her lips nervously.

"Yes. Did you want something?"

"Are we still on for movie night?" Kara's eyes softened. Alex hurried to smile back. If a movie night is what will make her sister happy, she will do anything to make it a good experience.

"Of course. I'll bring the food."

Kara opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly turned her head quickly, as if hearing a distant ring that only she could hear.

"I have to go. See you tonight!"

Alex barely patted her on the back as she was gone in a flash.

*

The desert wind hit her face as she waited for Sawyer to arrive. She leaned against one of the iron pillars, looking at the arid sky. The desert landscape reminded her a little of the ocean landscape from her childhood - a huge, wild, ever-changing entity that keeps moving, as if it has a life of its own. More than once she would take her surfboard and swim forward, to the horizon, until she reached calmer water, where she would sit on her surfboard and look at the endless horizon. When the situation at home was difficult, she would go away, devoting herself to the sea, spilling all her secrets to it, the ones she couldn’t tell anyone. Although she did this all her life, keeping secrets was the hardest part of it.

An engine hummed from afar and pulled her back to reality. She raised her head to look at a large, black motorcycle driving into the facility's confines. The motorcycle approached slowly and parked next to one of the SUV that was standing outside. Sawyer jumped off of it, taking her helmet off.

"So this is the FBI's secret desert facility, huh?" She said with an impressed smile as she approached Alex, taking off her riding jacket and revealing a simple T-shirt underneath. Alex nodded without a word, motioning for her to come inside. They better start working.

A special room was assigned to them on the unclassified entrance floor, and they entered while Alex threw various instructions, her voice formal- no pictures, turn off cell phone, and of course, a standard security body check. Despite the limitations, Sawyer still seemed to be impressed by the technology that protected the facility or the sterile conference room they entered.

"I gotta say, you guys really are in a different league," she sat down on one of the chairs, her eyebrows raised in admiration.

"It's just a chair."

"It’s an FBI chair," Sawyer raised a finger, slyly. Alex took off her sunglasses, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, let's get to business. What do you have for me?"

Sawyer opened her case file, which was full of various documents and photos. They arranged the victims' data on the table, discussing the killer's actions they had found so far and trying to find a pattern they could trace. So far, the killer seems to be carrying out his actions at night, kidnapping and killing the aliens and throwing their bodies into the river. Alex was sitting at the table, her forehead clenched in concentration while Sawyer leaned on next to her with the same expression, they both looked at the data in front of them, thinking quietly.

It was nice to work like this with another professional person like her. Of course, Alex had worked with pros before, solving cases and chasing hostile aliens, but lately it seemed to her that everything she did was somehow related to her family, to Kara's family, to her own life. It was refreshing to work on a case that wasn’t related to her in any way, and especially with Detective Sawyer, who showed interest. Alex glanced at her, noticing her scattered, dark hair, and its brighter edges. Sawyer bit the inside of her cheek in concentration, revealing an elongated dimple in the middle of her cheek. She looked up suddenly, and Alex hurriedly turned her look away, her heart suddenly racing sharply.

"All the bodies seem to be thrown in the river," said Sawyer, her voice slow and calculated. "There's this section-" She pointed to the city map hung on one of the boards. "-where we found the bodies. I would suggest putting a guard there, a patrol of agents or cops, who could try to find him throwing the bodies into the river."

"Good thinking, detective." Alex got closer to look. The section covered a large area, but with enough task force the plan could be carried out. They shared a small smile.

"What about the next victim?"

"What about them?"

"To the best of our knowledge, they may already be dead." Alex kept looking at the files. "I feel like there's something we're missing here. Their identity... as if it's connected somehow."

"Well, they're all aliens. Besides that, we don’t know much. They all came along with that big spaceship that landed here back when-" She narrowed her eyes to think. "Twelve years ago? Do you remember when it happened? You must have been like, fourteen-"

"Yes, I remember," Alex interrupted her, her voice impatient. She has managed wonderfully so far without any mention of Kara or her family. If Sawyer shied away from Alex's reaction, she hid it nicely. Sawyer was silent for a few moments.

"What exactly... was that spaceship?" She asked, her voice lower, curious. "You- you probably know, you have all the information about it, don’t you?"

Alex stared at the city map, feeling Sawyer’s eyes on her from behind.

She can’t really share information about Fort Rozz with Sawyer. She's not an agent. She doesn’t even know this place is not FBI. She's here to help Alex solve these murders, and after that there's no reason to keep her around. Revealing this information to her, something she might share with others wouldn’t be particularly wise. She turned slowly, Sawyer still looking at her curiously. Alex sighed.

"You know I can’t tell you. It's classified."

"Maybe there’s information there that can help us in this case."

That was true. A search in the database they have on Fort Rozz can bring them to solve this faster than any detective thinking. She turned to the map again.

"I'll organize an undercover force to patrol around the river."

Sawyer was silent for a few seconds, apparently realizing that Alex wouldn’t say anything about the spacecraft.

"I can help," she said. "Talk to my chief about-"

"There's no need for that. I have enough agents."

Alex turned again, picking up the materials that were on the table.

"So that's it?"

Alex didn’t look up at her. "If we find anything, I'll let you know. Right now, we have to wait for more information." She handed Sawyer her casefile back. Sawyer’s eyebrows narrowed slightly, and she ran her tongue over her dry lips.

"You know it'll go faster if you tell me what happened to that spaceship. There's more information you're hiding. It's delaying the investigation.”

She was right, of course. But that didn’t mean Alex can release classified information to a detective, brilliant as it may be. She shook her head.

"It's irrelevant. I can’t release this information." She scratched the back of her neck. "I'm sorry," she added, wondering if she should be sorry at all, with Detective Sawyer about to cross the border. Sawyer's face softened slowly, and she nodded back.

"Alright, Danvers. I trust you."

She escorted her out, to her motorcycle, and Sawyer put her jacket back on before getting on it.

"Hey," she said before putting on her helmet. "Do you want to go out for a drink tonight? We can talk more about the case, or about... whatever you want. Hang out. Chill. You look like someone who could use a drink," she added, a slightly mischievous spark in her eyes.

Alex almost blushed. She definitely needed to chill, especially in light of recent events. A movie night with Kara was something she couldn’t give up on, but for the first time in her life, she felt that more time with Kara might drive her crazy soon.

"I would," she heard herself say, "but I have plans."

Sawyer nodded. "Another time, then."

Alex walked away as Sawyer put on her helmet and set off, a cloud of dust trailing behind her.

*

"You arrived early."

Alex smiled apologetically. "Not on purpose. It’s-"

"No, it's great. The sooner I get my fried rice, the better.”

"Glad to help." Alex grinned and placed the food bags on the kitchen table, taking off her coat.

"Did you choose a movie?"

"I was thinking John Hughes?"

"Sixteen candles?" Kara widened her eyes enthusiastically. Alex bit her lip.

"I thought about something more like, Ferris Bueller?"

"No, please, please, Alex-"

"Okay, fine."

Kara fell silent in surprise. "Sure? Nothing? I had a whole speech."

"No, of course not. We'll watch whatever you want."

Kara examined her for a moment. "Alex," she said, her voice softer, "you shouldn’t be... too nice to me because of the-"

"What? No, I mean-" Alex swallowed, turning to the fridge so Kara wouldn't see the expression on her face.

She didn’t like sixteen candles. Of all the John Hughes films she had seen, it was her least favorite, and somehow, Kara's favorite of them all. She hadn’t felt sorry for her sister for so long, especially when Kara was starting to show signs of recovery (when she wasn’t near J’onn) but it was the guilt that ate Alex from the inside. The guilt that made Alex nicer, more forgiving, more considerate, and mostly trying to please Kara in almost everything. It seemed that everything Kara had asked for or wanted in the last two weeks, Alex immediately jumped in to fill, without thought.

She had tried to tell her on so many occasions, but every time something interrupted or she changed her mind at the last minute. She just knew she needed to prepare the ground, get Kara in a good mood, and hope it would be enough to soften the blow.

"It's fine, Sixteen Candles is fine."

Kara lit up with a smile, and something in Alex calmed down. She sat down on the couch next to Kara, cracking up a beer.

"How is the investigation going? About the alien kidnapper?"

Alex told her about what they found with Detective Sawyer, about the murders and bodies in the river, and about the work she and the detective had managed to do so far. There was no lead yet, but there was progress.

"...at least fifteen agents are patrolling in camouflage on the section of the river we assume the killer is working. If there had been a murder tonight, they would probably catch him."

"I hope so." Kara opened the food package. "Oh, thank Rao. I'm starving."

They started watching, and Alex hoped a good movie and the stock of food she brought would satisfy Kara enough to bring up the subject of Astra later. The film marched on slowly, too slowly for Alex's taste, but Kara looked relaxed, stretching into the couch as the white captions began to rise up.

"That was nice," she said in a sleepy voice, curling up next to Alex.

Alex didn’t say a word, and just ran her hand over Kara's back. They watched the ending subtitles disappear from the screen until it got dark, and there was silence. Alex knew this was her chance to speak.

"Ah, Kara?" She cleared her throat. "You- you know how-"

"Mmhm..." Kara let out a faint hum, curling up closer to Alex. "Not now. I'm sleepy."

Alex took a deep breath. The confession melted on her tongue, bitter, and her hand fisted on Kara’s back. Something in her wanted to wake Kara, to sit her down so she could listen, but she knew it wasn’t a good idea. She could do it another time.

Astra won’t be any less dead the next time she’ll try.

There were dishes to wash, garbage to take out, but Alex remained next to Kara, her fist softening slowly. Kara falling asleep beside her was a good sign, a sign she trusted her, that she still saw her as someone she could lower her defenses next to. The thought made Alex's throat tighten. The things she would have to do to erase this image of her from Kara's mind.

Relief washed over her, just for a moment, at the thought of buying herself another day.

*

Alex's undercover agents continued to patrol along the river, waiting for the alien killer to appear. A few days passed and meanwhile no body was retrieved from the river, and no traces were found to lead them to the killer. Alex had files to handle, lab data to check, agents to train. She almost forgot about the case, until Sawyer called her.

"I'm starting to think you forgot about me, Danvers."

An involuntary smile came over Alex's face. "No way. Unfortunately, there’s no progress yet."

"Well, actually, I got a tip."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it’s a good one."

"What is it?"

"Are you free now? There's a bar on the corner of Winston and six. We can meet there."

Alex bit her lip, a little confused. She could tell her the tip over the phone. Unless she thinks she's being listened to. But if someone is tracking her, they’ll know to follow them to this bar. She wondered if there was a reason why Sawyer wanted to meet face to face. Either way, she was happy for the opportunity to emerge from the suffocating DEO base underground.

"Sure. Give me twenty minutes."

The bar on the corner of Winston and Six was dim and small. Alex stepped inside, finding Sawyer in a moment. She sat at one of the tables at the back, a glass of drink already in her hand.

"Danvers!" She raised a hand. "Grab a chair."

She was wearing a black button-down shirt that was tucked inside black jeans. She looked good, like she was going out, and not to a work-related meeting. Alex wasn’t wearing anything particularly pretty, just a T-shirt with her regular riding jacket, and pants that probably had a stain from lunchtime. She sat and a waitress approached them almost immediately.

"Drinks on me." Sawyer's mouth rose in a pleasant gesture, and she nodded at the waitress.

"I’m driving," Alex hurried to say. "Ginger Ale is fine."

The waitress disappeared, and Alex turned to Sawyer, whose smile widened.

"So how's it going?"

"Okay." Alex leaned back, a little amused. "You said you had a tip?"

"Well, we don't have to jump straight into work, you know. I thought I'd invite you for a drink, to thank you for letting me join you on this case."

"Oh, that's okay." Alex waved her hand dismissively, as her drink was placed in front of her. She sipped from it quickly, a little embarrassed.

Alex didn’t have real friends, not the kind she went out with for drinks or talked to outside of work. There was Kara, of course, and Kara had friends, but Alex wasn’t really their friend without Kara. She didn’t think she would ever need anyone but Kara.

Even with the sister nights always going as planned, since Astra, Alex hasn’t been able to feel the same. She smiled and behaved as usual, but the lie burned her throat more than any lie she had ever had to tell. She knew that one day it would hurt her badly, that one day she would have to confess, and the thought overwhelmed her, like heavy baggage on her back. In situations like these, she would go straight to Kara, to consult or unload, but when the problem was related to Kara herself... she would just keep everything to herself, hoping not to explode. She had no other place to go.

She wasn’t used to just hanging out in bars with people, talking about her problems, having real small talk.

Detective Sawyer looked straight at her above her glass of drink. "Okay," she finally said in a quiet voice, still with the pleasant smile on her face. "Let's go to work."

Work is something Alex could handle. She knew how to do her job. "Good. What do you have for me?"

"My colleague questioned some people, an unrelated case. He told me there were witnesses who saw someone walking by the river on the night of one of the murders. It turns out he walks around there a lot."

"You have an ID?"

"There’s a description, yes. You can run in on your database, check it out." Sawyer put a hand on the table, tapping her finger. "5’3, shoulder-length black hair, wore a dark sweater and a cap. The witness said they saw him walking by the river, carrying a large bag."

Alex took a few pages out of her folder, examining the reports written by her agents. "How did we miss it? Our agents are trained to find these kinds of people."

Sawyer shrugged. "It could happen. Maybe he’s a professional, he knew how to spot them and tried to evade them."

Alex looked up, her forehead clenched. "It means we are facing something smarter and trickier than we thought."

Sawyer leaned back, chuckling. "I’ll drink to that."

Alex snickered. "What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Well, for a long time I didn’t have any serious cases. It’s always cybercrimes involving alien technology or just ordinary crimes committed by aliens. I have no problem with that, of course." She shrugged. "I enjoy working with the alien community. But what I really want is to work in the homicide department."

"And a case like this shouldn't have been moved to the homicide department automatically?"

"Once aliens are involved, we control the case. That means all sorts of things come to us, but once there’s a case with kidnapping and murder... at least something interesting happens."

Alex sipped her drink, thinking. "You enjoy working with the alien community?" She echoed Sawyer's words in question, surprised. She didn’t meet many people who enjoyed working with aliens, let alone hanging out with them. The alien community, aliens who came to Earth from places that were not Fort Rozz, settled almost immediately in National City, which became a place of refuge for them. At the same time, Alex hadn’t yet heard of humans who have connected with the community.

"I need tips, information, details, when I work on my cases. I know some people, aliens, they give me what I need. They know that eventually it's to help them. I don’t want to hurt them, and they know it." Sawyer licked her lips. "I do like them more than most humans, though," she added, an unapologetic smile on her face. Alex frowned, intrigued. She had never met anyone like Detective Sawyer.

"Why?"

"I can relate to them, I guess. Growing up a non-white, non-straight in Blue Springs, Nebraska..." She shook her head. "I might as well be from Mars. I was an outcast, and I felt like it. And now I have the opportunity to help them integrate, to be part of society, to change their image. Seems good for me."

Alex thought of Sawyer’s words. She knew that not all aliens were hostile, but her job was to catch the enemies. Hell, Non and his men are still in National City somewhere, waiting to attack. All she does is locate aliens and imprison them. Even though criminals like Non were in the minority, maybe that's why she classified all of them in her head as dangerous, without giving a chance to show that not all of them were hostiles to be caged.

The sound of the green sword slitting suddenly echoed in her ears, making her tremble, and she closed her eyes. Since the incident the sights and sounds came to her without warning, and she had to grit her teeth and shut them forcefully. Sawyer noticed, and she hurried to put down her drink, placing her worried hand on Alex's.

"Hey, are you okay? Did I say something-"

"No, everything's fine, I have..." She took a deep breath. "I'm fine."

Sawyer still looked worried, and Alex hurried to change the subject.

"You said you’re not straight? Me too."

"Huh." Sawyer's smile returned to her face. "You do have the style, Danvers. It doesn’t surprise me."

"Yeah, well. You too." Alex smiled, placing the words as a compliment, and seeing how Sawyer's cheeks were painted almost invisible pink.

"Well, thanks for the tip, Sawyer. I'll run the description on our database."

Sawyer swallowed the rest of her drink in one sip, raising a hand to the bill. They went out a moment later, the afternoon sun beating down on their faces.

"Hey, if you want, there's a great bar I found recently on Seventh Avenue. The owner is gay, a good guy. The atmosphere is good, and the drinks are great."

So this is how it will go on? Will she go out for drinks every night with Detective Sawyer instead of working? She looked down, biting her lip.

Alex didn’t really know how to hang out with people. All her life she had to take care of one thing, and that was to protect her family. Going out for drinks with a detective she met a week ago, that wasn’t a part of life she had lived until now. And taking a step back from worrying all the time, she never thought about that possibility. She was always on alert in case any of them got into trouble. But now that the tense situation had clouded her connection with the family she had left and she wasn’t sure they were the only thing left for her.

The idea of going out with Detective Sawyer for drinks excited her. A whole evening with no stinging glances sent from Kara or the opaque frost of J'onn's eyes. Just her, good drinks, and good company. Sawyer's eyes looked hopeful, despite the long silence, and Alex found herself nodding, a gentle smile spreading across her face.

She had no friends, but maybe Sawyer could be one.

*

Alex's heart raced a little too fast as she entered the cozy looking bar, the smell of quality alcohol striking her nose. Something about the excitement of going out reminded her of college days, when she was nothing but a hot mess of a med student, before being recruited by the DEO. Then, she used to spend her time in dancing clubs with a lot of flashing lights, loud music, and piles of people dancing on the verge of unconsciousness, none of which were anything like this bar. Here she could hear some light nineties music, something she noted in appreciation, and people were sitting in booths and chatting, their drink glasses half full. Yes, definitely more suitable for the adult Alex. Now, she’s a professional and sharp agent, who’s ready for action even when she doesn’t have to be. Her job’s demands permeated into her life, her mechanisms, always accompanying her. She didn’t always care about that, especially when she got to spend time with her sister and J’onn, saving lives, fighting hostile aliens and anyone else who wished to do evil;but right now, she didn’t want to be with them. She wanted to drink and play darts with her new best friend, an NCPD detective.

Sawyer was leaning against the bar, a bottle of beer hanging loosely in her hand. She was busy talking to the bartender, who leaned forward with a sly smile. Alex walked towards her, noticing Sawyer's fingers resting close to the bartender's arm, the way the bartender pulled hair over her face, the muffled voices of their conversation. Her heart tightened for a few moments in a way that wasn’t entirely clear to her, but she kept marching towards them.

"Hi!" She said in a little too high voice. Sawyer’s eyes lit up when she noticed her.

"Hey." Sawyer reached out a hand to pat her shoulder. "I'm glad you came."

"Your date?" asked the bartender, her voice venomous. Alex wondered if that was her constant voice or was it just now, when she thought they were on a date. Either way, she was quick to refute, her cheeks immediately reddening.

"No, no." She almost snickered. "We're just friends." She glanced at Sawyer, who nodded slowly, affirmative.

"Okay," said the bartender, nodding too. "What can I get you?"

"Beer would be great."

Alex's beer arrived in an instant, and they both went to find a place to sit, a small booth at the end of the bar. Alex sipped, looking around.

"Nice place."

"Yeah, I told you." Sawyer leaned forward on the table. "There aren’t many good bars like this. It’s a quiet place, not too crowded. Sometimes I come here to work."

"I can't think of working in a place other than my lab. Even if it's just a case."

"Lab?" Sawyer looked confused. Alex sighed, shrugging.

"I'm not just an agent. I mean, that's not all my job. I have a Ph.D. in bioengineering, and I’m an alien science expert. I work on a lot of cases related to aliens."

"So you’re a doctor?" An impressed look came over Sawyer's face, and she lifted her beer bottle in a ‘cheers’ gesture. "That’s cool."

"Are you surprised?" Alex smiled teasingly, and Sawyer let out a chuckle.

"No. But I appreciate you a little more now that I know you're not just a plain fed."

They exchanged another amused look, sipping from their drinks.

The conversation continued slowly. They exchanged dozens of stories about cases, getting into a pleasant rhythm of familiar terms and interesting incidents, speaking almost effortlessly in a language well-known to both. Alex noticed Sawyer's sarcasm and sophistication, enjoyed it and giving some of her own into the conversation. She didn’t have the opportunity to be that sarcastic, that open and a bit tougher elsewhere. With J’onn she would mostly talk about work, and when they didn’t talk about work, they were formal enough. With Kara, she almost never got to be sarcastic. The conversation with Sawyer was refreshing, exciting, and she finished her second drink, mesmerized by Sawyer's eyes that shone when she spoke of a large theft case she solved on her own or the way she drew lines on the wooden table with her fingers. Something in Alex breathed a sigh of relief, and she didn’t stop to look at why.

"There's a pool table over there," Alex noted. "You want to play?"

Sawyer took a long sip from her bottle, glancing back. "What about darts?"

Alex grinned. "Not good at pool?"

Sawyer looked straight at her, and Alex fell silent. "Oh, okay. Yeah, darts is cool."

Sawyer finished her bottle, and Alex slowly rose from her seat. "I can teach you, if you want. It's not really that hard if you learn the technique. It's basically geometry with sticks, really," she tried to smile encouragingly, noticing Sawyer’s faint smile in return.

"Okay," she heard her say as they approached the table in the corner. "Teach me."

Alex's heart started pounding faster as she took one stick in her hand. Sawyer arranged the balls on the green cloth and Alex leaned over and aimed, looking up at Sawyer.

"The most important thing in pool is to adjust the direction of your hit." Alex deftly grabbed the stick, looking back at the table. "Like that"

She took a hit, the table scattering with colored balls. Two of them got into holes across the table, and Alex straightened up, smiling. Sawyer raised one eyebrow at her.

"Show off," she murmured with a smirk, and something in Alex vibrated as she handed her the stick.

Sawyer leaned forward, and Alex hurried to her.

"No, see, that's your mistake. You're approaching the ball in the wrong direction." She started to explain simple physics that would send the ball in different directions, and the intensity of the blow that would help the ball go further. "In the bigger picture-" She helped Sawyer stabilize the stick. "-it's all about your expansion plan. What do you want to achieve with the hit?"

Alex's hand lightly touched Sawyer's back, arranging the stick correctly. "Here," she murmured, while Sawyer's other hand pushed the stick forward. The ball rolled away, hitting two others and putting one more into a third hole.

"Ah-ha!" Sawyer straightened up, turned to Alex and raised a hand for a high-five "Very nice, Agent Danvers."

"Not too bad yourself, Detective Sawyer."

A brief moment passed as their eyes met, and Alex felt a stream of adrenaline rush through her at the sight of Sawyer's sparkling eyes. She coughed, smiling. "Why don’t you take the next one?"

Sawyer placed herself on the table. "Is that okay?"

"Excellent. Maybe take a little more to the right, so you'll have a chance to hit the yellow one." Alex tried to concentrate more on the balls on the table and less on the thin strip of skin that was revealed under Sawyer's shirt as she bent down on the table. Sawyer gave a short blow, but no balls fell into the holes. She looked disappointed.

"It's okay. Not every hit will work. Give it to me." She took the stick from her hand, showing her a better way to hit the ball. They kept playing one game after the other, along with the drinks that kept coming. When they really started keeping score, Alex led, of course, but Sawyer seemed to enjoy the game more than looking at who’s winning. Alex encouraged her as she went on, aiming and pointing for her to the right ways to hit the ball. The hours progressed and the bar began to empty, and the narrow-eyed bartender began to clear the tables around them.

Pak! A hit from Sawyer inserted another ball into the bottom left hole, leaving the white ball in a direct line to one of Alex's balls on the way to the middle hole. Alex raised her hand holding the beer bottle with excessive enthusiasm.

"Mine! Mine." She walked over to the stick, bending over. Her vision was blurry, and she tried to calculate in the back of her mind how much she had to drink tonight. Two beers, and then... a couple of shots, when she noticed a bit of tequila spilling down Sawyer's neck and reached out to wipe it without thinking beforehand, and then just a tip of whiskey, just because Sawyer insisted it's the best in town, and another beer... something in Alex's belly made muffled noises, crawling up at a frightening speed. She dropped the stick, closing her eyes.

"God, Danvers, are you okay?" Sawyer's strong hands grabbed her before she fell. Alex shook her head, and Sawyer hurriedly patted her back.

"Okay, that's enough for tonight," she heard Sawyer mumble, taking her out into the fresh night air. Alex felt instant relief, and sighed, still dizzy.

"Much better, huh?" Sawyer's voice rounded with a smile, and Alex nodded, still afraid to speak without spilling her stomach out. Her alcohol tolerance was pretty high in the past, and she would still drink alcohol several times a week, but it still wasn’t enough to eliminate her stomach for the amount she drank today. Sawyer patted her back again, gently.

"You can take it out, you know. I'll hold your hair—"

"No, no, I'm fine." She kept taking measured breaths, thinking about Alex of four hours ago, who decided to leave her bike at home and take a cab, in case she got too drunk to drive.  _ A very smart woman, really. _

"Me?" Sawyer sounded surprised, and Alex suddenly realized she was saying the last sentence out loud. Out of the fog that soaked her mind, she found herself nodding.

"Oh, yes, you. Very smart. You figured out a lot of things about our case." The words were messy in Alex's mouth, and she wondered if they came out at a reasonable pace. "My director at the DEO will be very pleased with our progress. Even though- even though we haven’t found-" She took another deep breath. "Anything, tight? I mean, right?"

Sawyer was silent, and Alex's mind tried to process the information around her with the slowness typical of a drunk brain. She heard a car squeak and opened her eyes.

"The Uber is here," Sawyer said gently, helping her get into the car. She heard her exchange a few words with the driver before sitting down next to her. Within minutes Alex was snoring loudly on Sawyer's shoulder.

"Hey, can you drive slower? She doesn’t feel so good..."

Despite the fogginess, Alex patted Sawyer's knee gratefully, finding her hand there. Sawyer turned her palm up, letting Alex's rest there.

*

A drill thundered straight into Alex's brain.

"Jesus," she murmured, the sunlight like knives in her closed eyes. "Jesus fucking christ, and all the fucking believers, oh God-"

She held her head tightly, wondering how to end her life in the fastest way possible, as the sunlight suddenly disappeared with the sound of a curtain sliding.

"Sorry, my fault," said a quiet voice, and Alex opened her eyes at once. "Also, I thought you were Jewish."

This was not her apartment. This was not her bed. She was in a slightly messy bedroom that wasn’t hers, the sheets were blue, and she came home yesterday... wait. How did she get home yesterday?

"Here." Someone sat down on the bed in front of her, at a respectable distance, holding a large glass full of green beverage. Alex took another moment or two to realize it was Maggie Sawyer.

Maggie Sawyer, the detective.

With whom she went out for drinks last night.

And if she was here... who knows what else they did.

God.

"God." She patted her forehead in immense embarrassment. "Oh no."

"Don’t worry, it's just a sobering drink. I can make you coffee, but I found this one helps a lot more, and even when-"

"What happened last night?" Alex blurted out, still not taking the drink, but knew she would need it soon, when she would face the truth from Sawyer. Sawyer sighed, placing the drink on the dresser next to the bed.

"Nothing happened between us, if that's what you're asking. You drank quite a lot, and I didn’t know where you lived. So I brought you here. I slept on the couch," she added quickly, without being asked. Alex rubbed her eyes, slowly realizing the strange room, the distance Sawyer was keeping from her and when her nose started working again, the reek she smelled. This was so embarrassing.

"I’m... so sorry, Sawyer. I didn’t want - I mean, I thought that- drinking... I used to drink a lot more in the past and… and I thought that this much wouldn’t harm-" She was blabbering, she knew, but she couldn’t stop. "And when I thought I spent the night here, I mean, with you- I mean, not that I cared, you… uh, what I meant to say-"

"Alex." Sawyer's calm voice stopped her and she swallowed. She handed her the glass again.

"Drink it. You can hop in and take a shower, and when you get out I'll make you coffee." Alex noticed a slight smile. "Everything's alright, Agent. I'm not judging you or making fun of you. Things like that happen. I'm glad I can help. I had a good time last night.."

Something in her calm tone set Alex's breath free and she took a hesitant sip from the drink. It was absolutely disgusting, but she couldn’t stop drinking it. It was like a switch turned on in her brain.

"Damn, this shit is good," she murmured, and Sawyer chuckled, another sound that helped her brain get back into action, like an old car that needed a few pats before it started. She finished the glass and placed it back on the dresser as Sawyer rose up.

"The shower in this door. Here's a towel, and," she coughed, "if you want, you can borrow some clothes. I don’t mind."

Alex nodded gratefully, not sure what to say exactly, and Sawyer headed out.

"Wait."

Sawyer turned back.

"How did you know I’m Jewish?"

A smile rose to her lips. "You told me yesterday."

She didn’t remember it. If she's honest, she didn’t remember much of what happened last night. In the shower, under the boiling water, she wondered what other things she had let herself slip when she was wasted yesterday.

The kitchen smelled of toasted bread and fresh coffee, and Alex, clean and somewhat sober, back in yesterday’s clothes, felt her stomach chuckle. Sawyer's sobriety drink was a magic potion.

"Toast?" Sawyer handed her a plate along with a cup of steaming coffee. "I know I promised just coffee, but-"

"Yes, please." Alex smiled sweetly, taking the cup. “Thank you.” The coffee was strong and good, just what she needed to recover from this horrible and embarrassing hangover. Sawyer was still fiddling with the toaster as Alex put down the cup carefully, clearing her throat.

"Uh, Sawyer," she opened. Another embarrassing hurdle to deal with. But Sawyer had been great so far, and had no reason to embarrass her any further. And anyway, how horrible could the results be?

"Is there a chance I said a few other things last night? I mean, things I don't remember saying?"

Sawyer raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure what you do remember."

"Let's say I don’t remember anything. Top ten weird things Alex Danvers said last night while she was drunk, go."

Sawyer chuckled, but put down her toast, thinking.

"Well, you told me I was the best pool player you've ever seen. Not sure how good your vision was at that point." They shared a polite laugh and Alex took another sip of her coffee. Sawyer seemed to be taking her time for some reason, and Alex examined her quietly, as she sometimes did with detainees, to get them to talk. She imagined that as a detective, Sawyer knew this technique well.

"Alex, you told me you’re DEO." Sawyer looked up only after a few seconds. The horror slowly spread across Alex's face and silence fell. The bread in Sawyer's toaster jumped up, breaking the silence.

"Shit." Alex buried her face in her hands. How could she let such important information slip? She was a government agent, not a novice, and her mind contained more classified secrets than she was allowed to admit. Going out and getting drunk so irresponsibly, and with an NCPD detective-

"Hey, listen." Sawyer put a hand on the counter. "Everything’s okay. I won’t tell anyone, I swear, you don’t have to worry."

She didn’t know how to explain to Sawyer that what worried her at the moment was the guilt she let a secret like that out and not the fear Sawyer would tell every detective in the NCPD. More than the excessive drinking, more than the falling asleep in an almost stranger’s house, it was the shame of letting this secret come out, of letting herself lose control, that was unbearable. She closed her eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of her nose. The coffee and toast, which a moment ago seemed like a delicacy, made her nauseous.

"I’m... sorry, I have to go," she blurted out, gathering her things quickly. "Thank you for everything, I... I should-

"Wait, come on, Alex-" Sawyer's voice echoed after her as she turned to the door. She didn’t stop to look back before fleeing outside.

She needed more coffee.

*

J’onn folded his arms across his chest.

"Tip?"

"From a qualified source, sir. I've run some tests already, but so far we have nothing." Alex tried to smile confidently. "I hope to find something soon."

"I hope so too, for you." He turned back to the control room, and she hurried after him.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. You walk around and find these anonymous tips-"

"It wasn’t anonymous-"

"Like we're the police and not a federal agency-"

"Listen, just trust me, okay?" Alex stopped him, raising her eyebrows. "It will lead us somewhere, I promise."

"It’s from that cop, right?"

She clenched her jaw. "Yes. She is very talented and resourceful. Up until now everything she got for us was helpful. It was a risk but it will pay off for us, I know."

He sighed and nodded, and she headed back to her lab. Kara was there, in her Supergirl outfit.

"You look like a mess."

Alex rolled her eyes. She had changed her clothes, but the remnants of the hangover from yesterday were still throbbing in her temples.

"Thanks for noticing."

"Where were you last night?" Kara's voice was innocent, and Alex turned her back, pressing various buttons on her lab devices.

"I went out for a drink."

"Alone?"

"With a friend."

Kara was silent. Alex wondered if she was going to say something like 'you have no friends' or maybe that was too rude even for goody-two-shoes Kara Danvers. Alex's voice made it clear that she wouldn’t volunteer information easily.

Today, as if to compensate, she would be a bunker. And maybe for the next few days too.

Even with her sister.

Especially with her sister.

She couldn’t afford to let secrets slip out, not without preparing the right ground. Alex Danvers was a person who planned, who looked ahead. She wasn’t an improviser. And right now, she needed time to find a solution.

Kara cleared her throat behind her and stepped out.

"Okay. I have a job to do."

She disappeared in a flash of her cape before Alex could respond, and Alex breathed a sigh of relief.

She worked alone all day, the quiet of the lab clearing her head slowly. She followed the updates regarding Sawyer's tip, but nothing suspicious came up, and she began to wonder if it was a dead end. Until she had a definitive answer, she wouldn’t speak to Sawyer. Her phone screen had flashed 'Sawyer' several times today, but she still wasn’t ready to face the mistake she made last night.

A knock on her glass door made her raise her head.

"Agent Danvers. Anything new?"

Alex shook her head at J’onn. "Maybe that tip was a dead end after all, sir. But it's still too early to say for sure." Admitting mistakes to J’onn was less humiliating. He saw her in her lowest condition, and she knew he would never judge her.

"What about that... cop? Detective?"

"Sawyer. What about her?"

"Did she have any other tips? More ideas to locate the criminal?"

"No, sir. We've had one meeting in the meantime." Or three, she thought quietly. But these didn’t count.

He thought for a moment, looking around. "I can try to help, if you want."

"Oh. Okay." This was not the first time she had solved a case with J’onn. Maybe he noticed her poor shape today. Or maybe - a shiver of fear went through her - he read her thoughts and knows she let her secret slip and now he doesn’t trust that she-

"You’re coming?"

She hurried after him to the control room, trying to ignore the annoying thoughts inside her.

"What do we have in the meantime?"

"Well, we haven’t found what binds all the victims together."

J’onn pressed a few buttons on the control panel and pictures of the five alien victims showed up on the screens with their details from Fort Rozz. "All the victims were aliens who escaped from Fort Rozz and impersonated humans, here in National City." His voice was informative, distant. Alex stood by his side.

"Is there a connection between them?"

"Not that I can see." He shook his head. "All have different backgrounds and crimes, none of them were even cellmates.”

"He must be picking them for a reason. Not just because they’re aliens." Alex examined the photos and details for a few moments. She noticed the numbers of the prisoners, humming.

"Look," she said, tapping various keys on the keyboard. "If you arrange them in the order that they were imprisoned, you can see that they were imprisoned one after the other. The order of their incarceration is also the order of the murders." The pictures did line up on the screen in numerical order, and Alex and J’onn exchanged glances.

Prisoner number 2445 was next in line.

"Call a rescue team," he said. "They will take him-"

"No," she said, pressing her earbud. "We need Supergirl."

*

Kara stepped into the main control room, a little soot on her left cheek, and a defeated look on her face. Not only did she fail to catch the suspect, but he also fled with the inmate, and now there was no chance of finding any of them. The only thing she managed to find was a black weapon that was left in the arena, and she handed it to Alex as she walked in.

"He ran away," she said, disappointment filling her eyes. Alex placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"We'll run tests on the photos. I'm sure we'll find something," she said, trying to cheer her up. J’onn appeared at the end of the hall and Kara looked up, clenching her jaw.

"Thanks. Update him, okay? I... I need to go."

Alex nodded and J’onn approached her, his forehead wrinkled with worry.

"Is she okay?"

"She's still mad at you. It seems like she’s never going to get over it," Alex sighed, walking toward one of the screens. "She should be angry with me, she should hate me. I deserve it, and you-"

"I will never let that happen. You’re more important to her than anything else. I will die before I try to separate you two like that."

Alex shook her head. She was full of remorse, self-disappointment. She is important to Kara, that's true, but maybe that's why she can’t bear to lie anymore. With every wave of anger that came from her sweet little sister, to J’onn, the man she adored most of all, she felt acid continue to eat her stomach. She couldn’t keep seeing Kara and J’onn act like that. She needed her family back.

She went back to her lab. The black weapon was scanned in one of the DEO's special devices, to locate its source and its owner. Alex watched it turn around in the machine, hearing the faint beeps from around the lab. It was a relaxing environment, and many times she sat there with no real work, just to listen to the dull white noise, to take a few minutes to herself. But now, it did the opposite. Emptiness spread within her and she couldn’t calm down. The helplessness drove her crazy. She wanted to let everything out, vomit everything out of her. It was like a poison inside her system, screaming, begging to come out.

On the table, her phone flashed again. 'Sawyer'.

She sighed and pressed her finger hesitantly on the green button.

"Danvers."

"Hi!" Sawyer sounded surprised. "I didn’t know if... I mean - hey. How are you?"

Alex swallowed. "I'm fine. How- how are you?"

"Oh, I'm alright."

The silence was embarrassing for a few horrible moments, and Alex regretted answering. You let out top-secret information to a cop one time, and all your chances of being friends dissolve like a tooth in a glass of Coke.

"Anything new?"

Although it was easier to deal with work, from that point on she could no longer work with Sawyer. Not on this case.

"Yeah, but, uh... look. I can’t keep working with you on this case. There are too many classified details regarding... victims, and the main suspect-"

"There’s a main suspect? Did you find anyone?"

"Not someone we know. The investigation is still going." Alex pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry, Sawyer, it's no longer in my hands, to be honest. I can’t involve you any more than I already have."

Sawyer was silent again for a moment, and Alex heard her move. "Of course, it's... obvious. It's classified."

"Exactly."

"I hope it won’t stop us from being friends," She heard the smile in Sawyer's voice. "I really enjoyed last night. Even if- even if we finished a little on the wrong foot."

She rubbed her eyes. She really did enjoy last night. And Sawyer, well, she was alright. She wants to be her friend, and she let her shower and sleep in her house, and... she really was a good egg. And who knows, maybe she would be useful for future cases. Maybe opening up, at last, would do her more good than harm.

"Yeah, me too."

"Okay." Sawyer's voice was gentle, and Alex felt something in her heart shift a little, a physically strange feeling, as if her internal organs were changing position. She looked at the watch. It was already late, and she had a tough day.

"I’ll update you if I have an answer."

"Thanks. And... if you want, we can go out again. Not today, of course. Another time. Something with a little less alcohol."

Alex found herself smiling, biting the inside of her cheek.

"I would love that."

"Sweet. See you around, Danvers."

*

A good night's sleep was probably all she needed to get back into action. She waited for an update on any body to come out of the river, doubled the number of her undercover agents, and set up a unit that already tracked down the next inmate. This time, she would be ready, and wouldn’t let him escape.

They stood around the table in the control room, the black weapon that Kara found laying in front of them. J’onn and Kara stood on either side of the table and Alex between them, feeling, not for the first time, like a pillar. She rubbed her forehead as they continued to formally discuss matters of the killer's identity, motives, and possible location. Fingerprint matching hasn’t yet yielded an unequivocal result, and they tried to work in different directions.

"Black star alloy," said J’onn, his arms on his chest. "That kind of technology, this guy is definitely not from around here."

"So why is he killing other aliens?"

"He's not just killing them," Alex said. "He executes them. There's a motive here that shows more than a passing madness."

She glanced at her phone, another text flashing on the screen. She picked it up to answer, not even noticing the blush rising slowly up her cheek. She and Sawyer had been texting all morning, joking about the awful coffee in the cafe in front of the conference hall, about their favorite TV shows and the Barenaked Ladies' songs’ hidden meanings, and arguing about the right way to cook pasta (Sawyer: Don’t add the pasta before the water boiled. Alex: Wait, you’re supposed to add water?). The conversation flowed quickly from topic to topic, and Alex was fascinated by the way such a casual conversation with a person she only knew a week ago could bring her such pleasure. A cough made her raise her head.

"Yes, sorry! I was just texting someone." She looked at Kara. J’onn was walking away, and she guessed another cold argument had passed over her head.

"I'm here. What's going on?"

"J’onn said he would go interrogate former inmates. Maybe one of them knows this guy." Kara sighed. She still seemed defeated from yesterday's battle. "Until we know more about the guy under this outfit, we will not be able to find him at all."

"Don’t worry, I’ve got it all covered." Alex tried to sound confident as she walked back to the lab. "I have agents in every corner; in camouflage, ready to attack, you name it. If this guy does as much as raise his nose above the ground, we'll find him."

They entered the lab, just as a loud beep sounded from one of the machines. The results from the DNA test found on the weapon Kara found arrived, and Alex looked at the monitor, putting on her glasses.

"See, we're already making progress."

She pressed a few buttons. The DNA was human, and Alex ran a quick check to find a match in the databases.

"Human?" Kara sounded surprised.

"It happens." Alex was still staring at the screen.

"He was pretty strong, Alex, I doubt that-"

"Holy shit." Alex gaped. On the screen flashed an unequivocal match, with a picture and an info card. Kara looked even more confused, shifting her eyes from the screen to Alex and back.

"Alex, do you know this person? Who is Maggie Sawyer?"

*

She was so blind. So stupid. So naive.

It was so clear that the smart and beautiful detective who took her out for a night of bottomless drinking and extorted information from her about the DEO was the criminal. God knows what other secrets she let herself reveal to Sawyer. That evil genius who wore a mask of 'want to be your friend' and 'I had fun last night'.

Like hell she did.

She would never trust anyone ever again, especially if they had a captivating smile like Sawyer's. It only brought trouble.

"Agent Danvers, what's going on here?" J’onn looked stunned as Alex stepped into the DEO, holding the handcuffs that bound Detective Sawyer's hands. Two other agents stood behind her, escorting them in case things got out of hand.

Sawyer didn’t look defeated and stood with her back straight, her jaw clenched. Alex pushed her forward slightly, as if handing her to J’onn; a lion cub showing her father a mouse she caught.

"The DNA on the weapon matches hers. She's the killer."

"Agent Danvers, are you-"

"Everything fits, sir." Alex's voice was harsh. She took another cold look at Sawyer, the same one she wore earlier as she entered her office in broad daylight, arresting her without answering Sawyer's confused questions, without playing the friend she texted with all day. "This game is over," she informed her, not saying another word about it.

"It's not me. You have the wrong person, Alex, I-"

"Take her to cell 14." Alex cut her off. Two agents took her away, cuffed, not looking back.

Alex turned to J’onn.

"Alex, I'm not sure-"

"I have evidence. All indications show she did it."

"And if she has an alibi?"

"She won’t have."

J’onn was silent for a few moments, his forehead split in stripes. Finally, he sighed and shook his head.

"Go there and interrogate her. Once you find something that can prove her innocence, you call me." He paused for a moment. "Catching a corrupt cop may look good on your resume, Alex, but don't incriminate innocent people."

He walked away before she could answer, and she bit her lip, turning back.

*

Sawyer was sitting with her back to the door as Alex entered. Alex tapped the control panel, locking the door and turning on the lights. She stepped forward slowly, turning the chair that stood in front of the thick glass that separated them and sat with her legs apart. Sawyer didn’t move from her seat on the floor. They sat like that in silence for a few moments, Alex trying to find words for the awful feeling of betrayal she felt. The serious wrinkle on her face slowly thawed as she looked at Sawyer.

"How could you?" She said the words quietly, in disbelief. "I trusted you. I thought you were my friend, that I was finally-" She stopped herself. Sawyer raised her head.

"I really am your friend, Alex. Or at least, I'd still be happy to be. It wasn’t me, I swear-"

"All the signs point to you. Why should I believe you?" She got up, full of anger. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t think you offered to help me with the investigation, to give me that dead-end tip, to take me out for drinks and make me spill out more secrets, so you could erase any evidence related to you and lead me to you. One reason, Sawyer." She raised one finger.

"Everything you said really does sounds suspicious, I know, but It's not me. I swear, I'm being framed, Danvers," Sawyer whispered, and her big brown eyes penetrated Alex's skull, piercing her heart. "You have to believe me, please."

Alex turned around, pinching the bridge of her nose. Why was it so hard? She had been betrayed in the past. She was deceived and lied to, and yet, no betrayal hit as hard as this one. She knew it was the thought that maybe, at last, she had found a friend, a person who could understand her, her job, her hobbies, a person she could talk to, someone she could trust, and now it all turned out to be anything but. It didn’t feel like the usual lie of a criminal evading the law, it felt like something a lot more personal. Sawyer took advantage of  _ her _ , lied to  _ her _ , betrayed  _ her _ . It felt personal and more painful than any betrayal Alex had felt in her life.

It was the fact that even though Alex had known lies all her life, she thought she had finally found a person she could be real with, no matter what.

They worked well together. They had common interests, bantering, repartee. She truly enjoyed her company,  _ someone's  _ company, for the first time in a long time. Kara and J’onn have been so cold to each other lately that Alex had almost forgotten what it meant to spend time with people who were important to her, without having any hard feelings.

And now, the positive DNA test told her something different. Sawyer wanted her to believe her, but she couldn’t just give it up, choose to rely on her new friend instead of the unequivocal results. She let out a nervous sigh, rubbing her eyes. If she believed her, she would be the biggest fool on earth when it turned out Sawyer was lying. If she ’ s telling the truth , then Alex earned her friend back.

She tried to think logically, pros versus cons, the things she should do versus the common good. Her judgment, which usually was her guideline in relation to everything, felt a little shaky. She tried to reduce the interference of emotions in making her next decision. She sighed, turning back. Sawyer got up, standing in front of the thick glass.

"Please, Alex. I promise you’ll see, just let me get out of here. I can help you solve this."

Something in Alex fluttered. She turned to the control panel, pressing a few buttons that opened the glass door.

"I swear to god, Sawyer, if I catch you lying-"

"You won’t." Sawyer stepped outside. "Let's go catch the son of a bitch."

*

Alex's lab smelled of various disinfectants, large machines that buzzed loudly, and industrial linoleum. Sawyer stepped inside, whistling.

"No budget cuts at the DEO, huh?"

Alex ignored her, picking the page with Sawyer's DNA result. "First of all, I'll need an explanation for this."

She pointed at the black weapon that was inside the armored glass box, and Sawyer examined the paper showing her name, then the weapon itself.

"Well, whoever did this got my DNA somehow. They implanted it in the weapon and threw it in the arena."

"Do you have any idea who could it be?"

Sawyer shrugged. "I put a lot of criminals in jail. Aliens too. Maybe mostly aliens." She looked back at the paper. "Anyone can steal a bottle of beer I drank at a bar or go through my trash."

"Dead end again." Alex folded her arms. "You better start making sense, Sawyer."

Sawyer looked up at her narrowly. "Danvers, I'm trying to help-"

"Okay, but right now we need directions that work. The killer already kidnapped the last prisoner yesterday, and we haven't heard from him since, so as soon as-”

"Wait. What do you mean prisoner?"

Alex sighed. "The victims are inmates from a place called Fort Rozz, the alien prison that landed here twelve years ago. They’re being murdered, or rather executed, by someone we’re unable to identify, because of the suit."

"Another prisoner?"

"We don’t know. We have no way to match anything that belongs to our databases." Alex nodded at the weapon. "Until they dropped this. Apparently, they felt we were too close and were looking for a way to distract us."

Sawyer folded her arms, nodding. She seemed to be deep in thoughts, trying to crack something logical from the information Alex gave her.

"What if..." she said slowly. "What if there's a reason for what they do? Alien or not, what kind of person would try to kill prisoners?"

A light bulb turned on in Alex's head. "A guard."

"Exactly."

Alex straightened up, suddenly smiling. “Brilliant!"

Sawyer smiled back at her. "The question is, who is it. And how do we find them."

"We have information about the guards, but there are dozens of them. It’ll be difficult to interrogate them all one after the other, especially since we don’t know the human identity that some have taken." Alex bit her lip. "Let's go in a different way. Do you know any alien that might have been a Fort Rozz guard and wanted to frame you?"

"No, that’s a dead end." Sawyer shook her head. "There are too many aliens who want to frame me. I don’t even know which of them could have been from that place.."

"Dead end..." Alex murmured. "What about your friend from the police? The one who gave you that tip?"

"What about him?"

"Well, the tip was a little too consistent to describe the man we were looking for. I was sure it would help us. Do you think he's involved?"

"Who knows," Sawyer reached for the plastic bag with her belongings, pulling out her phone. "Draper looks like a good guy, but I don’t know him that well."

"Give him a call."

They waited a few seconds while Sawyer called, and Alex opened the Fort Rozz’s database on her screen, letting Sawyer go through the pictures of guards in case she’d recognize anyone.

"Sawyer?" A surprised sounding man answered the call.

"Draper, man. How’s it going?" Sawyer scrolled through the pictures while talking. "I need a favor."

"Sawyer, where are you?"

Sawyer raised an eyebrow. "Why do you ask?"

"I... uh, nothing, just curious." He paused for a moment. "Are you okay? What do you need?"

"The tip you gave me, about the suspect by the river. It's a dead end. Do you know anything else about the guy?"

A moment of silence, then- "No, nothing."

The pictures continued to pass under Sawyer's finger. "Nothing?"

"Yeah. Sorry about the dead end. I hope you find him."

"Yeah, well. If you hear anything else, let me know."

She hung up, and Alex leaned back on the table next to her.

"Wasn't that a little weird?"

"What?"

"That he was surprised when you called? He asked where you were?"

Sawyer shrugged. "He's a bit of a weird guy. I don't really-" she stopped abruptly, freezing. Alex hurried to straighten up.

"What? What is it? Is it him?" She looked at the picture on the screen that showed a man in his forties, with stubble and a stern look.

"That's him." Sawyer raised her head, her voice low. "That’s Draper."

*

The capturing was a little too easy to be true. Alex and Sawyer broke into a cabin in the woods owned by Draper, shadowed by Supergirl and half a dozen DEO agents. Draper had an underground room with all the equipment he used, and although he put up a fight and used his suit, they outnumbered him, managing to take him down within minutes. He was transported away in an armored truck by the DEO, cuffed and guarded. Alex patted the back of the truck before setting off, watching it drive away.

"So," said a voice behind her, and she turned. Sawyer sent her an almost too wide smile. "We solved it. We caught the bad guy."

"Yeah, right." Alex couldn't stop herself from smiling back, at the relief of catching a criminal, at the relief of finding Sawyer was not the killer, at the relief that she might still have a chance to be her friend.

"Look, Sawyer, I'm really sorry for all the-"

"Hey, don't worry about it. I mean, I understand why you thought it was me. I kind of set myself for it, with how I asked you for drinks."

"Do you regret it?" Alex clenched her fists nervously and she buried her gaze on the floor.

"No."

She raised her head, finding a cautious smile on Sawyer's lips.

"Me neither."

They stood there, smiling at each other for a few moments, as Alex let out an embarrassed giggle. A cape wooshed behind Alex.

"Supergirl." Sawyer folded her arms. "Good job today."

Kara just nodded, looking at Alex. "We need to go."

To an outsider it would’ve sounded like there’s an important task that needed to be done, but the truth was they were on their way to sister night, with double-stuffed pizzas and lots of potstickers on the menu. Alex nodded, turning to say goodbye.

"Thanks for everything."

"Pleasure’s all mine, Danvers." Sawyer smiled again, turning back to her bike. Alex watched her drive away with a roar of an engine, until Kara shoved her shoulder.

"So I was thinking Jurassic Park." Kara beamed as they both started walking along the road on their way back.

"Yeah, but none of the last ones."

"Well, all I need are dinosaurs and Tea Leoni."

"And pizza."

"I thought that one was obvious."

*

It was a week or so after, and Alex left Kara's building, the morning light shining gently on her face.

_ I'm not going back to the DEO, Alex. _

She tried not to let her tears out, not in the middle of the street. Her bike was waiting for her on the sidewalk, and she started it in agile motions, getting on the road quickly. She had gottenKara a box of donuts, another peace offering that was supposed to get Kara in a good mood before she got back to DEO today, but Kara told her about the conversation she had with J’onn yesterday, and her intention to stay away.

Her mother warned her thousands of times not to drive when she was nervous or distracted, but she had to get somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t Kara's apartment.

_ I miss Astra. _

The words pierced Alex's heart, just as they did when she first heard them weeks ago. She leaned forward, accelerating. She couldn’t keep thinking about Kara and the injustice she had done to her, but her mind kept navigating between cars and trucks in the morning traffic jams of National City, as Kara's voice shook her again and again.

_ I was getting through to her, Alex, if I had just had a little more time- _

Honk! A car entered Alex's lane, shifting her to the right, and her bike lost balance, almost slipping along the road and turning Alex into a human goo. The car continued on its way, honking angrily, and Alex regained control of her bike, stopping with a squeak. She gasped, taking off her helmet.

J’onn would tell her she had to go on, no matter what. That the DEO needed her. That Kara would find a way to forgive him eventually. But she wasn’t ready to accept that fact yet. She couldn’t keep going like this, and if Kara left the DEO... what would be left of the family she thought she had?

She took out her phone, pressing various keys hesitantly, until she reached the one button she was looking for, bringing it closer to her ear.

"Sawyer." 

“Hey.” She tried to sound as calm as possible. "It’s me. D’you have- I mean, you wanna grab a coffee? Now?"

Sawyer was silent for a few moments, but Alex could hear her smiling when she answered.

"With you, always. Where are you?"

*

Alex stared at her cup of coffee cooling down while she waited for Sawyer to arrive. A gentle hand was placed on the table in front of her, and she looked up to meet kind eyes.

"Good to see you, Danvers." Maggie slipped into the seat in front of her, a paper cup in her other hand. She smiled broadly at Alex, who felt immediate relief.

"You too."

Sawyer sipped from the cup, peeking out into the street. She was silent, as if waiting for Alex to start talking, her smile remained encouraging on her face while Alex tried to find the words to explain what she was going through. She looked into Sawyer's eyes, noticing how big and beautiful they are, suddenly seeing both softness and roughness, mixed, like a kaleidoscope of brown tones. The sight mesmerized her, but she snapped out, coughing awkwardly.

"I'm not... not sure how to say it. It's just a little- a little personal." She took a deep breath, gathering strength. It's best to just start from the beginning.

"I've been lying to my sister about something for a while now. And I feel like it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. I mean, she’s my best friend, you know? And now I have this burden on me that I can't tell her about, and because of that, she's acting really awful to someone else, someone important to me, and I feel so terrible.”

Simply saying these words felt to Alex like a cork being released, water flowing out of her naturally. Sawyer sipped her coffee again, her eyes listening.

"And it's not fair, you know? Because I spent my whole life protecting her, and I did everything I could to make sure she's safe, and now I've made one decision to protect another person, and it just- it blew up in my face..." She took another breath. "And now she's acting like a different person. And I have to keep lying to her about this, otherwise… otherwise I don’t know what will happen. And I feel so lost. I feel like I’m losing her. I just- I don’t know what to do."

Sawyer was silent as Alex tried to get her breath back on track, calming the lump that had begun to build up in her throat. She glanced up, finding Sawyer looking at her in comfort, nodding.

"I'm sure it feels awful."

"It really is." Alex closed her eyes. "It eats me up inside. I don’t know how long I can continue like this."

"Keeping a secret, especially from a close person, can drive a person crazy." Sawyer frowned sympathetically. Alex sighed.

"I don’t know what to do."

"Why won't you tell her?"

Alex shook her head. "I can’t. My director is involved, and he-"

“Is someone’s life at stake?”

“Well… No.”

"Then talk to him. Convince him." Sawyer leaned forward. "Do everything you can to get your sanity back, to get your sister back."

Alex shook her head again, but Sawyer continued.

"You have to tell her, Alex. It will burn you alive if you won’t tell her anything. If you let this secret sit within you. The only thing you’ll be risking is your relationship with your sister, and that’s already at risk. Do what you need to save it."

Alex thought about her past, about the way she had to learn to lie, to keep secrets all her life, to protect others. She thought of other secrets she kept, of people to whom she hadn’t yet told the truth. Every lie she ever held inside ended up hurting someone, and especially her. Lies were unfair.

It was so liberating to tell Sawyer, even if not the whole story, to hear her say words that made sense, to know she understood. She felt lucky, and not for the first time, that she had met Maggie Sawyer. She looked up at her, meeting a soft smile.

"You’ll be okay."

"You don’t know that." She murmured before she could stop herself.

"No, I don’t. But hope is a commodity you should have more of." Sawyer's smile widened, and Alex chuckled

"I'll tell you what. You go talk to your sister until... say, tomorrow night? And then we'll meet for drinks when you're ready."

That sounded like a good idea. Sawyer instilled in her courage, hope, that maybe Kara could forgive her, that maybe not everything is ruined forever.

She nodded, and Sawyer patted her hand affectionately, in a way that made chills rise on her palm.

*

"We're gonna stop this thing, Kara. Together."

Alex felt a lump in her throat. A nuclear missile was about to destroy the whole city, and Kara was the only one who could save the situation. Without J’onn, she would never make it. Without Kara, J’onn wouldn’t be able to do anything. She watched J’onn and Kara defuse the bomb together, saving the city. The entire control room cheered as the missile fell, threatless, into the water. She saw J’onn's tense smile, knowing that like her, he felt incomplete when Kara wasn’t there with them.

"We need each other."

In the damp air of the training room, Alex bowed her head, breathing deeply. Beside her, Kara stepped forward.

"Stronger together?"

Alex closed her eyes, stepping away. Behind her J’onn and Kara shook hands, in the same cool, belligerent attitude.

Nothing had changed. Nothing  _ will  _ change, unless Alex confessed.

The courage to confess, the hope that things will get better, it burned in her, longing to have her family back. All the preparations she made before, all the speeches in her head, all the apologies she constructed just flew away, and she turned around, her heart pounding.

"I saw Astra standing over J’onn."

She confessed, sobs tearing her body apart, and nothing felt more stable than her sister's arms enveloping her in comfort, the quiet forgiveness of her presence. Behind her, she felt Kara's hand holding J’onn's, and something in her managed, after a long time, to breathe a sigh of relief.

*

"So?"

Alex's smile widened. "I did it."

Sawyer almost jumped up, her eyes twinkling. "You did it! I'm so proud of you. It went well, I take it?"

"Very well." Sawyer's arms were wrapped around her in a happy embrace, and a shiver went through her, the warmth of Sawyer's body enveloping her tenderly. Sawyer pulled back, and Alex's body protested quietly. Her smile remained on her face as Sawyer pulled her inside the bar.

"Come on, I'll buy us drinks. Sit over there."

She sat down in one of the booths as Sawyer approached the bar, ordering their drinks. Excitement still gripped her at the success of bringing back her family. She felt more whole than she felt for weeks.

There was just one more thing.

She looked around at the bar, her gaze instinctively drawing to Sawyer, who signaled the bearded bartender, raising two fingers in the air. She leaned lightly, a wide smile on her face, opening a conversation with him as he made their drinks. Alex felt her ears warm up, her heart beating faster.

For a long time, she wasn’t in any relationship. She forgot how nice it is to hang out with someone who could be... potential for her. Especially someone who under other circumstances could have met all her expectations. She watched her laugh at what the bartender said, a stab of unexplained excitement pinching her heart.

Of course she noticed that Sawyer was beautiful. She couldn’t help but notice it, but tried to keep a friendly distance. They had several conversations so far, and in all of them she came to know a funny, caring, yet tough person, all in a wide coat of sweet pleasantness. She remembered the night she spent at Sawyer's house after their hang out, the thoughts that went through her mind when she thought something happened between them, the speed at which she assumed something even happened. She could never deny that in her eyes, from the moment they started working together, Sawyer could be so much more than just a colleague, a teammate, a friend.

Sawyer turned from the bar, two glasses full of alcohol in her hands. She sat down in front of Alex, raising her glass.

"Cheers."

Alex nodded with a smile, watching her sip, as thought after thought began to rise in her. Like a lightning followed by pouring rain, it made her wonder if it had been there all along, and if all she had to do was to open the blinds.

How would it feel to kiss Maggie? How would it feel to put her soft hands on her waist as they played pool, as they stood next to the bar, as they said goodbye, Maggie shaking her head back so her hair would fit inside the helmet. Alex looked at Maggie somehow teasing her when she lifted her glass to her mouth, wondering how it would feel to taste her neck, how would it feel to grit her teeth along her skin, to hear her sigh quietly?

"Are you okay?"

Alex coughed, sure her ears were completely red. She nodded quickly, hurrying to sip from her glass to hide her face.

"So I was thinking," Maggie said, leaning a little closer. "I know I shouldn’t take advantage of the fact that you’re DEO, but if we can cooperate in the future, it can be pretty good for both of us. You know, each one and her sources, devices... I mean, look at the last case we just cracked."

"The one where I thought you were a dirty cop and tried to put you in jail? Yeah, that was a success." Alex smirked, her cheeks still burning in red. Maggie rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, of course. I had a good time working together. We..." The words got stuck in her throat. What is she supposed to say? Make a good couple? Maggie may be gay, but who said she was interested in Alex?

"We’re a pretty good team, I agree." Maggie patted the table. "And by the way, I'm glad you sorted things out with your sister. You look much better."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, not that you hadn’t been stunning before," Maggie winked and Alex almost let out a whimper. "But I meant your vibes. You look good. Calmer. Lighter."

"I feel that way," Alex managed to say, and Maggie reached out to grab her hand.

"I'm happy." Maggie's thumb rubbed her palm warmly. She was silent, smiling, left wondering if the thoughts in her mind would last much longer, and how much she might risk if she decided to act.

She couldn’t lie anymore.

But she had to do it right.

*

The pizza tray in her hand swayed and she spread her fingers, balancing it. The beer bottles tapped each other inside the carton in her other hand. She stared at the wooden door for a few minutes, taking a deep breath and arranging words in her head.

"Just be yourself," Kara had advised her. "If she doesn't like it, it’s her loss."

_ Be myself, _ she repeated over and over in her head. Beyond all the lies, Maggie knew who she was. She knew who she really was, without hiding, without judging, without being ashamed. And now she has one more thing to tell her. She would be who she was, hoping Maggie would return her feelings. 

She sent a finger to the doorbell, giving two short taps.

She heard soft footsteps, a pause, then rustling of keys. The door opened and Maggie raised an eyebrow with a surprised smile.

"Danvers." She tilted her head aside. "I hope these are for me."

"Well, if you’ll agree to share some, for me too." Maggie stepped back with a grin and Alex went inside.

"That’s nice. I was just going to order myself some food." She walked over to the cabinet as Alex closed the door behind her.

"You’re welcome," Alex placed the pizza on the marble island and Maggie sat down on the other side, laughing, two plates in her hands. She placed one slice on a plate and handed it to Alex, before taking another one for herself. Alex looked at the plate in front of her, trying to take a deep breath.

"To what do I owe the pleasure? Do you have a case?" Maggie opened one beer bottle for herself, making a wordless gesture of offering one for Alex.

"No. And no, I don’t have a case. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. And ask you something."

"Are the two things related?"

"Yeah, I... yes." She placed her hands on the counter, spreading her fingers to release the tension. It's now or never.

"The thing is, my whole life was about being perfect. You know? I always had to please everyone, and I had to make sure everyone around me was happy, and safe, and it took a lot of effort. It also meant I had to keep a lot of secrets. Hide the truth in order to protect others. It was an integral part of my life, like a piece that was in every puzzle I put together." Her fingers on the counter began to drum nervously. "I hated it. I was never perfect. I tried to be, for a long time. But the secrets and lies always found their way back to me, like webs I couldn't escape."

She looked up, finding Maggie listening to every word, her pizza and beer forgotten aside.

"And recently, I started to find ways to overcome it. To find the ways to tell the truth, even though it meant I had to take risks. Stop living in the secrets I had to keep. Start putting myself first, something I never thought I would be able to do. And I... that's what I’m here to do now." She took a deep breath.

"Tell the truth?" said Maggie in a quiet voice.

"Take a risk." Her eyes stared at Maggie. "I don’t want to keep secrets anymore. That's why you need to know that I... I like you. You're funny and smart, and you're such a great detective, and I..."

"You like me." Maggie's eyebrows rose together into a kind of expression that Alex couldn’t fully decipher, but felt softness wash over her at the sight of Maggie's lips opening slightly, her eyes radiating warmth. "You like me," she repeated, as if trying to find out if she had heard right.

"Yes, I... I came here to try to figure out if there’s something that... I mean, if you feel the same way. And if so... well." She breathed again, this time with a tense smile. "I would like to try-"

"Yes." Maggie's voice was a little too high, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She got up from her seat. "Yes, Alex, God..." She pressed her fingers together. "I liked you from the moment you walked into my office."

Alex tried to digest the words, emitting an embarrassed laugh. "I held my badge upside down."

"And then blushed in the sweetest way I've seen a federal agent do." Maggie approached her slowly as Alex sat on the bar stool, at a perfect height in front of Maggie standing. "You're so amazing, Alex. You care so deeply, and you're so charming and real—" She reached out to grab Alex's hands. "You're more real than most people I know. Of course I like you."

Alex let out a trembling puff, a smile widening across her face. "Maggie, I... wow."

"Wow," Maggie agreed, her palm tightening around Alex's, intertwining their fingers. Alex felt her cheeks warm up.

"Am I blushing again?" she murmured.

"Yes." Maggie's dimples deepened. "It's adorable."

She leaned forward, and when her lips touched Alex's, Alex could swear she had never tasted anything sweeter, anything more real.

**Author's Note:**

> ~~thinking about the truth will prevail speech from Confidential by Roadie~~
> 
> i hope you liked it! let me know everything you thought in the comments, and come visit me @bilerleighs on twitter
> 
> this fic would never be what it is without the help of the wonderful [ ironicpotential ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicpotential) erin, who was so patient and kind with me and the process of this story and what i tried to make it. so grateful for your notes and advice, thank you!
> 
> and thank yall for reading! see you on the next one :)


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